And when the music starts, we open up our hearts.
I have found it difficult to make and maintain friendships throughout my life and largely I’ve never been too stressed about it because I don’t really like people. Luckily for me I mostly spend time making computers talk to each other, I also do that as a contractor so I should approach those things from the perspective of a visitor. Opting (usually) to keep a barrier from the people I play with at work.
Well that is until recently and that is making for an interesting journey for me which I will explore overtime.
Right now there are relationships I feel a strong desire to grow and others I am being encouraged to pull back from:
- Of course my SupaWife and children are the most important relationships I have and yet I think I need to pay more attention there too.
- Two girls I know from work inspire me and you can not help but want to spend time around that… Now apart from being remarkably strong women they are also:
- Funny
- Kind
- Sweet
- and very much like me in many ways, sense of humour, and demeanour amongst other traits.
I could wax lyrical about why I am inspired by these two fantastic friends but another thing I have learned is some of the reasons we admire people is best said only to those people and I assure you they both know.
Now I don’t know if it is the influence of Blossom and Buttercup, Mid life or just time to slow down and look at what is important but this niceness seems to flow quite freely toward others whom I know peripherally and this might be cause for caution at least if I am to heed the warnings of those who have my best interests at heart.
Not wanting to sound as though those opinions are not welcome but I think I need to open up before applying aperture control.
A song from the Sound Track to “Once More with Feeling” gives me pause to think when ever I watch the episode
Life’s a show and we all play a part
And when the music starts,
We open up our hearts
It’s all right if some things come out wrong.
We’ll sing a happy song
And you can sing along.
….
Life’s a song
You don’t get to rehearse.
And every single verse
Can make it that much worse.
Still my friends
Don’t know why I ignore
The million things or more
I should be dancing for.
All the joy Life sends.
Family And friends.
All the twists And bends
Knowing that It ends.
Well that Depends…
There is a lot more to the song but mostly foundational stuff for the circumstance of the plot.
For me these verses say it is worth it to play openly and honestly and perhaps that is a lesson I needed to learn about 40 Years ago.
Give me Something to sing about
I have always found it difficult to maintain friendships over a long period of time. For a long time I didn't think I was worthy of having people in my life so I used to push people away. It's only been recently that I've come to learn how to better manage relationships in my life. It's a long road and some lessons are life lessons. I'm very grateful to have you in my life and I look forward to many more fun lunches and shared jokes. I can't wait to meet the rest of your family.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Angie.
ReplyDeleteNot sure my problem is so much the pushing, more the ignoring and bored now demeanor. Which leads to the steping on my dick with the accidental spoiler.
Feel free to smack me if I'm a dick like this with you, because I won't have meant it.